an hour and 10 minutes til my future is before me.

30minutes to go.
i am at the edge of my bed, unable to sleep, unable to even think about it without freaking out.
emotions are highly on overdrive. With me,  everything is unexpected.No matter how good the paper went,it proves me wrong by showing a B or so. 
I am an overachiever and omg, when i dont get something i expected to or am utterly disappointed i am the worse person to be around. i sulk! and i sound like a spoiled brat. But i dont mean materialistic things but rather the things i really worked hard for... 
Change of topic.
My plans for the up coming months, is to stay single and happy with myself. I have seen the "grass is on the other  side" and i enjoyed parts of it. It was my first real relationship. :O  that will be the face on the aunties that know about me being in any relationship..continued with gossips. even more so if they knew he was indian. 
Anyways, with my luck with guys and all, i got over this one pretty fast. i guess cause i never actually put a 100%  into it incase i got hurt in the end and also when i finally did break up. i had this amazing flood of relief and the realization that i can flirt around with any guy friends of mine without feeling like i am unfaithful. Not that i did when i was with the guy. the thing is..
In a relationship with me, loyalty is something u dont have to worry about and jealousy is far from it cause i cut of all my guy friends. and i realized that is amazing stupid.! 
No matter that guys and girls cant be friends because of all the sexual tension, love and lust coming in between, a girl needs a guy friend. One that can make her see the insides of a  typical guy's brains.
It took me a bunch of years to realise just a year ago that guys go for the body rather than the face first.!
OMG. i just realised there is an additional hour gap between here and UK.!
argh..
so that makes it now. AN HOUR AND 5 MINUTES.
i am going to drive and get myself MCDs!
to calm the overpowering and "dramatic" nerves.!


xx
a.a