feminist or friends.

Where is the respect for girls that are friends.? How is it so hard these days that guys dont defense their just-girl-friends.? That when we walk on the street and some ass cat calls or start singing some cheap song, i dont see them giving those guys the eye let alone look pissed.  Indifference. But heck if you are their girlfriends, you cant even talk to your bloody guy friends. well, some of them dont like it. I am possessive best friends type. I get jealous of my best friend hanging with someone i dont like or dont mix well with but they get along with my best friend. So i am thinking that maybe i might be a possessive girlfriend. I guess i have never been in that situation. 


I hate the fact that guys just cant be alright with just keeping their opinions within themselves. I mean me and my guyfriends check girls out. I know thats degrading. but then we degrade the other sex too when girls check guys out.. so it evens out. 
I would never ask how they rate me. I dont want to know. 
Anyways, how can guys have in themselves to use a bad situation and make a rumor mill out of it when they are a girl's friends. All the girls friend. They ruined a friend's reputation to boost theirs. Thru false information. another word would be "extending the truth". 
its not that they are guys but cause they were friends of hers.
the world is out of gentlemen AND ladies.
I am not a lady. I am a feminist. i am soo after the equal rights that i make sure i go against what they want "ladies" to do. 




xx
a.a


"Killer"- Dev

No effing clue

My friend, L is having these rumors. I guess its within reasons. She did somethings that she shouldn't have. Not in front of people she cant trust just yet. this world is judgmental no matter what race or religion u are. Its just how humans think. How society thinks. How one person thinks and changes the mind of others. I know. I have been influenced. I have come in terms with how i think. People think its immature but i know i have valid reason behind it. Even if i don't exactly what i want. Little things matter. My constant theories and my need to understand everything just right is just my way to deal with everything. People may call that cautions. It is. Cause everything i do, is being judged my not people around me but higher power. My parents, Allah, my future. 

I wish i would just be able to read about everyone's thoughts so i can learn how people think. Cause i know my theories are just theories. I know guys are all not the same. But i also know that  the effect of falling for one or any would be the same.  How it affect me will be the same. To be with someone i have been in like for what 9 months will mean so much more than the 3 to 4 months i would be if i were to be with them. I think of it as a way to hurt myself rather than not trusting them. I am being selfish. But maybe not. Maybe what any of them are thinking is just me as a chapter or an option not their story or a priority. While they might not end up being my book but i rather not have them as a chapter either. Cause how many more chapter will i have if i continue to take the risk.? The question may come up on how can i think that it wouldn't become something big. I will tell you. CAUSE NOTHING IS EVER THAT EASY! I have never had anything easy and i never will. So if i want my book to reach its perfect ending with the worthwhile chapters even if its too little pages and a cowardly act.. i am up for it. If the chapter is meant to come into my books, it will cross the worlds and come back to my story. For now, i rather tell the story thru my instinct. 

My friend and even me are going thru such a phrase that we want to try things. To experience everything. She is facing with her consequences now while i will face them later. I know it. What will my excuse be? I know my consequences will be bigger than a few rumors being spread and a ruined reputation. I have a feeling it will come in later in my life to haunt me. What will i say? that i was young and stupid. Heck, if i was stupid i wouldn't have already known this.That what i am doing is stupid. There wont be an excuse. I did it cause i wanted to. I want to make my mistakes so i learn from them. I cant live in fear from everything. I have to bare with some mistakes. I just dont wish to make them with guys.

I am efffing boy crazy. I am,. I was since i was a kid, I know that is the one fact i have known since i can remember!  My post is mostly about them cause they are a huge part. My family is not in these post cause i cant tell the world about other people's, especially my family's, lives. My friends are barelty their cause they are barely any of them left around me. The few i have are all guys and hence the post. I notice alot of things from them. its like observing another whole creature. 

I always thought guys didnt reply to texts that we send hours later cause they wanted us to wait like they waited for our text. and i always thought i was just paranoid.  But i am not. They really do it.

I will go home and type out about the issue that is bugging me. 

xx

a.a

"Sofi needs a ladder"-Deadmau5

deadmau5

if you dont know that DJ, you suck and excuse urself and jump into the closest river.
but eh, if u are sane then i doubt u dont even bother about DJs.
these DJ party is effing crazy.. people wear sunglass at night to come watch these DJ spin. ;)
he is amazing or so i say by how much my muscle is hurting until now..
I wanna go these kind of DJ and just dance. LED lights and loud beats thru out the night. He made my top clubbing experience.


People I want to see that i will not miss if the chance ever rises again

1. David Guetta (obvious reasons)
2. LMFAO
3. PitBull
4. Rihanna

Thats it so far. they all planned on or already came but i missed them due to some sad reason. 

xx

a.a

"Strobe"- Deadmau5