Things i wanna do.

There is plenty i wanna do when i go to university. there is things i cant do now without answering million of questions. i need to get to any university. I limit my time with friends. i know if i am go to any university away from home i would be able to do something crazy without thinking about getting back on time for curfew.

Like yesterday,my friends all rented a car and went to a place 30 mins away to a bar and then another hour's drive away to a hilltop cold place with a casino! and spent the whole night in the casino. and came back at 10 am. OMG. how much FUN!!!

its things like these. to do these random things and not to worry about how my parents would be worried if i dont come home at time. i told them to go ahead cause i didnt want them to hurry back cause of me. How annoying that would be.! 

Update if u care. Nothing much.

I went to watch a movie alone. Weird i know. But hey its a huge way to build personal development.  I thought i would give it a try. Its been hard to pull it thru without my parents suspecting something. Again it was about them. If people saw me alone what would they think? she got ditched on a date.! HAHAH..probably but they were like u are going to cut our noses off. I mean its me! going to a movie alone. instead of questioning why I am going alone they are worried about what people would think.? Doesn't it matter how i think too? How i feel about it all? 

Honestly, I have been thinking. I am immensely known by people i dont know. But i am alone as well. I have friends but those friends that i cant share my problems with or go for advise. My besties are all overseas and the friends i have here are not the ones that will come running when i am obsessed over this one problem in my life. these friends are not someone i would run to do anything. i miss my best friends alot. 

I am just lonely but not alone. I keep myself busy but what can i possibly do to not remember how little close friends i have. Its not just that. its my parents. they just ruin the image of my friends. i mean the things they say.. pisses me off. like how my guy friends are after me and how if my aunties see, they will think wrong. and i wont ever be able to get arranged with a guy. WTF?

My husband better fucking know how i am before marrying me. cause i aint easy to deal with if u get into it unknowingly. 

And omg. my parents think i am fking naive. Please. if i am naive. i would be already getting into a lot of shit. they think its my fault that i dont have any proper friends. tht what happened with my school friend was my fault. Yea right. if only they knew the whole story. 

They just assume and assume. Stop it!!

I wanna go to university already so i can miss them and come back home and be happy to be home. not depressed and caged.!

I love them but sometimes they get on my last nerves.

xx

a.a

"Broken Arrow"- Pixie Lot