I have been in love before. i know it was cause to me i did everything i could to be with him even as friends. go against my family's trust which i never did and saw these vision of everything i wanted and the comfort and ease of it out..not necessary the first love where they love u back. Nope. mine was brutal and completely painful, still is.
He didn't love me back and, I know how it feels to be on the other side. to love someone and not be loved back. so i am not going to into that. My reason to blog this late is that i have these amazing butterflies and goosebumps just thinking about this other guy.
I am in love again. i know its not same kind... he is everything i like,he is cocky, funny, playful, good looking, charming, pakistani. and for some crazy moments in my mind, trustworthy.
But he is not. His main thing, hes a player and he makes me doubt he is with his words. hes sweet and thinks he is can get anything he wants.
Thing is he likes me, thats all.! and that probably cause i am one of the few girl friend he never got with that he really wanted to get with. He will discard me once i fall for him. and i wont be able to handle that. i am just putting myself together now. to be broken again in the period of my college life..or post-college life, will be utter crap and completely stupid of me.
so maybe its not love cause even typing that word thinking of him now is making me want to puke but he is something more than like and a different kind that i have felt for no one else.
the forbidden kind.
I am hopeless. but my best friends are helping me turn myself off from him. i tend to get over some feeling after a silly discussion. and talking.. or as of now, blogging.
xx
a.a
"Hold it against me"-Britney Spears
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